Dia de Muertos, the Mexican tradition of honoring those who have died and death as a natural part of life makes sense to me, even though I didn’t grow up celebrating it.
Some of my favorite people on earth are no longer confined to earth!
Who is your favorite person (or pet) who has died? What if you could spend more time with them? Would you?
One of the greatest gifts my mom gave my siblings and me when our dad died was to keep him a part of our daily conversation. “Dad would like this... Dad wouldn’t like that...Remember when Dad...” - that sort of thing. We were all thinking about him and the gaping hole his absence left. Mom opened the door for us to keep those parts we missed (and some that we didn’t miss as much) alive, which kept us in touch with the energy of his soul. Because we spent time giggling about him, noticing things that he would like or that we associated with him, it was easier to imagine him (his laugh, his voice, his sparkling eyes) around us. When we were sad, we could imagine his loving arms around us. When we were celebrating, we could imagine him saying, “Nice.”
The thing about imagining is that, over time, it begins to feel real.
There is a distinct feeling each person gives off. Usually, it's described as their personality, but it’s more than that. It’s their soul.
My dad’s body died in 1984. He had a great laugh, a loud voice, and stinky farts. He made people feel seen, heard, and important, and he gave the best hugs – genuine, tight, and like there was nothing to worry about anymore. I miss those hugs, his laugh, and the smell of his Aqua Velva Aftershave. I miss his strong hands that were permanently stained with tire dirt: black around his nails and the cracks around his knuckles.
But I don’t miss his soul. Dad’s soul is still with me every day. I can still feel that feeling of being completely loved: that essence of him – commanding a room while simultaneously making each person in it feel like they’re the only one there. The way he balanced respect and irreverence to put people at ease. That part of him that made him unique is something that has been around since 1944.
Think about the people (and animals) you spend the most time with. Individually, what do they feel like to be around. How do they greet you? Are they a good listener? Do they have an easy-going vibe, or are they more uptight? What is something that makes them unique?
Now, think about your 5th grade teacher, a coach, or a childhood friend that you haven’t seen in ages – what does their soul feel like? The energy, or vibe, that makes us unique doesn’t need to be living and breathing next to us in order for us to feel it. And, more importantly, when our loved ones die, that energy lives on. We can still feel it.
Just like air: we can’t see it, but we know it’s there.
Death is only the end of the body. Dia de Muertos honors the lives that were lived and the souls that remain. It’s traditionally celebrated on November 1st and 2nd but recognizing that we are all souls living in our bodies for a short time makes death a little less scary for those facing their own mortality and those who remain.
