Happy Birthday to Me!
Today is my birthday – not something I usually advertise or overly celebrate. I think it’s because it kind of got lost in the shuffle of the beginning of summer. Growing up, my birthday parties were mostly low-key affairs where I got to have my favorite meal followed by cake and ice cream. I remember a handful of parties with friends, but deeper in my memories are the disappointments. There were years my best friend couldn’t attend because she was camping with her family. My 21st birthday also had an abandonment theme because my boyfriend was out of state and my roommates had made other plans (9 days after one of them turned 21) so I went home to my mom’s house and all my brothers and sisters were busy too. My 40th birthday was a blast – Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett died that day.
Perhaps it’s not about making the day a big production? I certainly hope not – because it’s not something I ever did for my family. Come to think of it, that’s not very Cancerian of me at all! Sorry Fam!
Celebrating birthdays is about celebrating life and celebrating growth. We can do that EVERY DAY!
I’ve been taking inventory recently of ways that I’ve grown over the last 5 ½ decades and I’m pretty impressed with the lessons I’ve learned. At this rate, I should continue to learn and grow substantially over the second half of my life.
Seriously, though, I remember being incredibly firm in my beliefs over the years – thinking I had figured out THE WAY, THE RIGHT WAY, or THE RIGHTEOUS WAY about a number of things. I even was vocal about some of my beliefs. (I mean- look at me now- blogging about my beliefs! LOL.)
The difference between the last six years and the first fifty years is that I no longer believe that there is a Universal Right Way. Humans are too varied, learning different lessons and on different paths for any one way to be RIGHT.
My life has been very different than yours. Of my seven brothers and sisters, NONE of us has had the same life path, even though our formative years shared some key moments. There are not two people on earth who have had all the same life-experiences.
One of the beliefs I’ve changed over the years is regarding past lives. It makes sense to me that we are souls having a human experience and that our souls never die. No wonder, with this belief, that I have been able to feel my dad’s presence at certain times, even though he passed in 1984. No wonder birthdays don’t actually make us feel older. No wonder we have phobias (unexplained fears aren’t so unexplained if we were traumatized in a past life!).
And yet, maybe I’m wrong? I’ve been wrong before.
What I appreciate about this life is that I’ve entered some sort of phase where I’m able to see LIFE through a new lens! I’m still 100% human – and all that comes with that (mistakes, foibles, major FUBAR moments). But I’m also able to walk/hike the same trails every day and SEE something new and amazing. I can experience a disappointment or obstacle and wonder about the Divine Timing and what better thing is coming my way because of it. I have a sense of peace that I didn’t have before. So, while I may be mistaken and my beliefs may change again, I know however it happens, the result will be something that makes each day a little better.
That is the true gift.
My birthday wish for you is to know this peace. Life keeps coming at us, and the chaos will continue. It just does. The ability to find the goodness, the love, the divinity that remains is the ability to know peace.
Peace be with YOU!
And Happy Birthday to Me!
